Show Notes

Episode 221: Navigating Loss


Janine’s father, Gene, passed away in August and she was the beneficiary of much help and kindness from her friends, including Shannon. This week, we discuss her experience and some of the things that have made navigating loss a little easier for Janine.

Discussion topics include:

  • The beautiful fall weather that Shannon and Janine are enjoying this year
  • The passing of Janine’s father, Gene Adams, on August 20, 2022
  • The extra difficulty of losing a second parent
  • The intense feeling of being alone that Janine experienced after his passing
  • Janine’s great relief when Shannon offered to drop everything and drive 4.5 hours to be with her that day
  • How another friend, Denise, flew cross-country to support Janine and help her navigate all the tasks that needed to be done
  • The somewhat bizarre visit the three of us made to the funeral home
  • The unique burial approach we took with Gene’s ashes (it involves a basketball)
  • How Janine (with Denise’s encouragement and help) let it be easy to create a slide show for the memorial service
  • The preparations Gene and Janine had made in advance that made the week after his death easier
  • The help Janine received from family caregivers to clear out Gene’s apartment in a week
  • The value of seeking and accepting help during difficult times
  • The wonderful restaurant, Kinglet, that served up great food and kindness to Janine throughout her stay in Walla Walla
  • Recognizing that there is no right way to navigate loss
  • Giving yourself grace
  • How Janine got the date wrong in her father’s obituary
  • The value of getting help from someone who is a step removed emotionally
  • The toll that grief can take on your brain power

Here is the basketball that Gene’s ashes were interred in. It was a fitting tribute!


Kinglet, a fabulous Walla Walla restaurant that showed great kindness to Janine

3 thoughts on “Episode 221: Navigating Loss”

  1. I just listened to Episode 221, could you tell me what book or items that Janine and her father used ahead of time that made his and her mother’s passing easier?
    As my parents get older (my Dad has Parkinson’s) I worry about this process and making sure that I know his/their wishes before it is too late. Thank you for any info you can share with me.

    Respectfully from a fellow Oregonian, Kim Kern

  2. Thanks for listening, Kim. (This is Janine.) I used a workbook from Jeanne Smith of Exit Stage Right. Jeanne has passed away but before she did, she made the workbook available as a free download. Here’s the link:

    Click on the hamburger lines at the top left, then click on Family Resource Guide. You can print out the sections that are pertinent.

    I’m sorry to hear your father has Parkinson’s. My mother died from Parkinson’s in 2015 and I’m so glad we had these conversations some years before that. It made her passing (as well as my father’s) so much easier. The workbook was a big help.

    1. Thanks for the info Janine, I have listened to your podcast since I first heard you on Stacy Julian’s podcast. 🙂 I am sorry to hear about your mother. My grandmother died from Parkinson’s as well, so I think it may be even harder for my Dad knowing what to expect after watching his mother go through it. Thank you again. I am going to print the workbook this weekend and ask my parents to go through it with/for me.

      ~Kim Kern

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